Supporting Loved Ones: How to Be There for Someone Struggling with Mental Health
- Nick MacKenzie, BSW, MSW, RSW
- Nov 23, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 19, 2025
When someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, knowing how to help can feel overwhelming. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or feel unsure of what practical support to offer.
Your presence, patience, and compassion, however, are invaluable in their journey toward wellness. As mental health professionals, we know that strong support networks are foundational to recovery. Here is a guide on how to show up for your loved one with empathy, boundaries, and practical support.
1. Start with the Power of Listening (The "Do's" of Conversation)
The first and most critical step is to create a safe space for your loved one to share their feelings without a fear of judgment.
DO:
Be Present and Patient: Set aside a dedicated time and place free of distractions. Let them share as much or as little as they want, at their own pace. Often, a supportive presence can be more meaningful than any practical advice you might wish to share.
Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their pain and suffering as real. Use phrases like, "That sounds incredibly hard," or "I can see why you feel that way." This is a vital component of empathy and making them feel understood.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of making statements about how you think they feel, invite them to describe their experience. Try a question like, "How have you been feeling lately?" but be prepared that they may not wish to speak in that moment.
Separate the Person from the Illness: As a caregiver or close person, it can be hard to see past the mental health struggles of a loved one. Often, these perspectives are shared by the individual experiencing mental health struggles and can lead to low self-esteem and poor motivation. Encouraging your loved one to partake in shared interests, hobbies, or parts of life you both enjoy can foster a sense of connection and socialization that is often part of a fulfilling life.
DON'T:
Minimize Their Experience: Avoid phrases like "Everyone gets sad sometimes," or "You just need to cheer up." These remarks can be dismissive and increase feelings of guilt and shame.
Try to Diagnose or Fix Them: You are a loved one, not their clinician. Avoid offering instant solutions or making assumptions about the cause of their struggles. Your role is to support, not to solve.
With your loved ones permission, you can however take an active role in supporting their recovery. Clinicians are often happy to provide tips for support persons.
Compare Their Pain: Never say, "I know exactly how you feel," or "There are people who have it much worse". Each individual can have vastly different tolerances for hardship and while you might relate to aspects of their experience, their mental health challenges are unique to them.
2. Offer Practical, Actionable Support
Mental health struggles often make daily routines like grocery shopping, cleaning, or preparing meals feel impossible. Offering to help can alleviate this burden.
Offer Specific Assistance: Instead of the broad "Let me know if you need anything", offer specific tasks. "Can I pick up groceries for you this afternoon?" "Would you like me to take the dog for a walk?" or "I'd love to drop off a meal tonight, would that be helpful?".
Help Navigate the System: Encourage them to seek professional support. If they consent, offer to help them research mental health professionals, find a support group, or even drive them to an appointment. The process of finding help can be daunting, and your partnership makes it less intimidating.
Know the Safety Plan: If your loved one has a mental health safety plan (a strategy for coping with a crisis, often created with a professional), ask them to share it with you. Knowing warning signs and pre-determined coping strategies can make all the difference during a crisis.
3. Prioritize Your Own Well-Being and Set Healthy Boundaries
Caring for someone else can be emotionally taxing. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and self-care is not selfish it’s necessary for sustainable support.
Set Clear Boundaries: Define what you can and cannot realistically do. For example, you might be available to talk after 6 PM, but not during work hours. Communicate these limits clearly and respectfully. This models healthy boundaries for your loved one as well.
Seek Your Own Support: Sometimes, you may need to process your own emotions regarding your loved one. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Also, consider joining a support group for caregivers.
Maintain Your Interests: Continue to pursue your own hobbies, exercise, and social connections. Maintaining your healthy life habits ensures you return to your loved one refreshed and at your best.
Caring for a loved one navigating mental health challenges requires more than just good intentions; it demands presence, patience, and a commitment to healthy boundaries. By prioritizing non-judgmental listening, offering specific practical support, and diligently maintaining your own well-being, you can establish yourself as a vital, steady anchor in their recovery journey.
Remember that your sustainable support is one of the most powerful tools for recovery you don't have to fix the illness, but you can certainly help them feel less alone in fighting it.
References
Aadam, B., Cheong Poon, A.W., Fernandez, E. (2024). Listening in Mental Health Clinical Practice, The British Journal of Social Work, 54(1), 246–266. https://doi.org/10.1093/bjsw/bcad193
Karikari, L. (2024). Caregiver mental health: A crucial piece of the recovery puzzle. Journal of Recovery in Mental Health, 7(2), 29–31. https://doi.org/10.33137/jrmh.v7i2.42805
Lauzier-Jobin, F., & Houle, J. (2021). Caregiver support in mental health recovery: A critical realist qualitative research. Qualitative Health Research, 31(13), 2440–2453. https://doi.org/10.1177/10497323211039828
